Design X Design by Derek XAva

Chapbook Selections


From 1992's "Dictionary of Blue Corn"
by Derek XAva



Poem Index

Low ku

                                                                            poolside negative

                                                     we lie black in paved sleep for

                                                    her palms' whitest leaves


Traveling Light

                    Light, again being like water,

                             slips through her veins

                         from her four-chambered

heart toward the afternoon

clay shadows on her skin.

 
                                             She shakes


the light from her skin

to dry,                             the whole time

drawing in her careful hospital bed.

she is rippling into thin

                            light like water herself.

Blind in Venice

                           An American sailor might have imagined the

                        canals to be deeper in the center, darker, like

                                             pupils. Not her pupils, not Elisa's,


but those of the morning pastry maker's daughter.


               Downstairs the little man would make pretzels with

                          sea salt and cinnamon, and with white sugar

glinting in his eyes.                        But now below the window

                                                and its splintered pane, the tide


is returning sewage upon the city.


                      Perhaps the sailor, to sustain the moment, had

shut his eyes, to sustain the movement.                   He might

               have imagined that it was the Summer Olympics in

                                                              Munich, 1972, and that


he was Mark Spitz shattering gold from the water.


               His arms would swing straight over his head, face

                           down into the pool with a breath--his hands

                            meeting above her own head like the prow


of a destroyer--and slide into the water.


               His torso would follow hard and fast, and his hips,

a hinge for two beats of a dolphin kick.                  He might

                            have driven his mind to hold back the tide,


but Elisa,leading, would have clasped her afternoon palms


to the sailor's temples and with her thumbnails

pulled back his eyelids.                   And half of me would be

                                           there, blinded by the Adriatic sun,


                                                                to meet the other half.

The Dusk in Edvard Munch's room

               inhales the cracked lines of the old man's face.

                  In his mind, uncertainty had become a color,

                                    but it's squeezed yellow with light

                          in the back room, against the back wall


where shadows should be.


                      The man stands to the left, brushed a little

bow-legged between his grandfather clock and another

                unframed woman hung by the bed.  He stands

               with eye-holes shut, with mouth-hole shut as if


not to scream, but to really feel the houses burn,


                      to hear the children cough, there are only

                          one or two others at a time here  to see.

                                  Like lost salmon, the man's hands

                      are smeared beside their trouser pockets.


The smeared face of the clock is a lost moon,


                    and he remembers the times, one at a time.

                                                   Once it was tuberculosis,

                                    taking a young girl away, a sister.

            Now it's my watch telling me I have a lunch date


in an hour.

                                            A student friend, maybe older.

Unified Theory

                                                                  Breathing earth,

                                                         she sits in the clouds.

Bright-shouldered,                                        drinking fire

and rubbing her hands together

over water.                                         Is this the woman

who has become so mindful of matter

that she can etch her own heart

into the elements?

No,                                                            she is an artist

and she is as cold as the universe

as it was before time.

Before space and the splitting

of the forces of gravity,

electromagnetism,

the strong and the weak

nuclear forces.                          So far back and so fine

it seems she has to clothe the contours of her mind

in satin just to touch

that dot beyond a dot,                                       and still

she cannot feel it.

If she were to leave

this universe on the table,                           like a sliver

of onion skin,                                             it would move

before she could even sense it.


All she could say

is that here everything has tended

to its lowest energy.


Call it absolute

zero,                           when even quarks can be quiet.

Where a universe finally becomes

that singular,                                                     neurotic

particle unto itself.


Breathing gravity,

it sits in the spectrum.

Dark-elbowed,                                  drinking strength

and rubbing its hands together

over weakness.


But only for a moment

beyond a moment.


                                                                   And then, yes,

he is an artist,                                       and he is as hot

                                                   as a universe after time.

We should be careful

                                                                    quote,

when we recount to you on particles

of silver where we sucked

the flavor of magenta

from a man in yellow whiskers,

though fully awake and pasting together

on pale retinas the curved, muscular edges

of old photographs, of

you,  a woman, and where

others are uncareful, unquote,

                                                          we should be.


Death of the lieutenant

                                                 What could you say, Sir,

               when I blamed the recklessness of our turn

                                          on the speed of the howling

                         or bright lights of the oncoming jeep?


On all my thoughts for not seeing.


                                              You could never suspect

                            my chance, sometimes sure desire

                                                            to have yer face

 splayed like a broken hand on my lap,mi teniente.


  And I would never write all my shocking treasons

on the windshield
                                           with your blood.
What could you say?
                                             Who would you report to?
                     The fact is,
                                                       I could tell anybody
                                 anything.


And if what they didn't know

was true,                                                    that we were silent

and undetectable reagents,

were we to blame?


               That we changed everything they wanted to know.

                         That we existed also to tag their movemnets

                                              --check their pulse, so to speak.


That we could have had them all forgotten

when it served a purpose.


One day we were humming along hot microwaves.

Another had us melting coca into gold.

                            That we had never known our real names.


And were we to blame if all we wanted was

what is true?
                                                                    If we just breathed.

At times we felt like no more

than spies of the human race,                                     at times

just waiting for the next big thing.


And at times no one really needed to know us,

having been tossed so neatly into this life,


                                                                      still trying to burn.

Me on the flatbed

                 The truth is that it was pouring rain,

   the music was good, and I wasn't really sure

                                                   how to hang on.


(That's me on the flatbed of Johnnah's pickup

on our way home from the beach.)

Of course we had so much fun


                             at Playa Corozal, not caring

     about the unfamiliar taste of purple sea salt

                           or the bottom we couldn't see.


And if you knew me, you'd almost think

sitting there, bracing myself

between the duffles and tied-down coolers


         that I'd just let go, screaming something

                               about how I was such a pig

                 to be starving for more watermelon.


But seeing me now for the first time,

as if only the boy in this photograph,

surely you'll say that whatreally


                                            told me to jump off

         and into the yellow convertible behind us

                         was the fantastic wind and rain.

Double chin

                         Winter in New Haven, near her,

and the wind is forever

                                tossing you down the street.

You try to stand still.

                                Yes, that would be enough,

without even the thought

of turning back.                            But the white

beats forward forever, as if

                                  every shadow in your life
was for this.

             As if even giving up everything before

                                                         was for this.
And winter
                      is only momentary, only near her,

but in this moment
                                             you have two chins.

One is for tucking into your coat

                  while you count the necessary steps

to her door.
                           The other is for the meat-hook

dragging you there,

                   kicking and screaming like a corpse

                                                               if it could.


The very personal joy of riding two bikes

                          When I pedal my bike I am like

the boy I saw just over the bridge

                        pulling his shorts up past his butt

to see the brilliant scrapes

                                              from a sidewalk slip

and not a slide down the mountain.

               He bends over and gives a sharp yank

to right his handlebar.

                            Then he hops back on his bike

to ride down the mountain,

                   over the stone to brook and prevail,

down the next street

                                   to fly in collision with cars


Your good intention

                                      In a dream there is a large bird.

And it happens in his life that he sees things

he was not meant to see.              That he says things

which do little to secure her love.

          Like a dream, it seems it nearly must happen.


He sees a glimpse of the planet as it would look

with her arms around his waist.

And there are oceans there, pregnant with the light

of everything he wants to see inside.


       A young macaw, a scarlet with yellow shoulders

              looks at him with one eye and with the other

                   at the rust-colored fence behind his cage.

And like a dream,
                                                         he tells her about it.

Perpetual intercourse

                                                   This long, black tail

                          gathered in coils like hasty loops

of dragon tulips in a room of their own

has only to be plugged

into the corner socket
                                                                   to unravel
and dance its long, slow

                           panther waltz until now.  No one

                                  has to tie it around anything.

                                    It does everything for them.

                                                                     It dances.

Dormant

             If I tell you now too quickly I love you,

please see that it's only because

I want to feel alive.

That i probably don't even know you.

That if we were in one of theThirty-Six

                                        Views of Mount Fuji,

you could be The Wave frothing at its mouth,

                                and I, the readiness to die.



And when you leave too early in the morning,

when I pretend to remain dreaming,

please understand it's not because I wish

I could just dream a little longer,

               but rather, that in

each of these thirty-six prints

by the great Hokusai, I know I am really

                                                 Mount Fuji itself.



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